I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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