We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
