I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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