I just cut my nipple shaving
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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