More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
