just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
