apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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