I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?