We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
