Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize