Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
