We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to calm my uterus...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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