I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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