She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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