I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
