You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
