It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
