I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
