it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
