so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
