I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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