my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's blow job season.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
