so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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