Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
