I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
