I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
