We won't sleep together?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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