yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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