Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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