sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
