is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
