Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The ass gains better be worth it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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