Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love accidental penises.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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