you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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