It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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