Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
