I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize