My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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