I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
