It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
