If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
