I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
