I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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