$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world