I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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