He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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