you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
