She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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