You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
