The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
