so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
