i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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