Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize