Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
