i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
