Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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