Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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