Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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