You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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