yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize