dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
