Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
