You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
