he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
