Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
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I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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