can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
