Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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