I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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